An intriguing thought experiment

Several weeks ago, I came across an enlightening transcript of Warren Buffett’s speech to MBA students at Florida University in 1998. He started with an interesting thinking experiment: “…..you can buy 10% of one of your classmates’ future earnings without choosing someone with a rich father. Which classmate would you choose? One with the best grades, the most energy, or other qualities? You will start looking for qualitative factors, in addition to (the quantitative) because everyone has enough brains and energy”, He went on to add, “That would be the person who is generous, honest …”

Then he said something powerful: “They are qualities of behavior, temperament, character that are achievable, they are not forbidden to anybody in this group…I would suggest is that if you write those qualities down and think about them a while and make them habitual, you will be the one you want to buy 10% of when you are all through. And the beauty of it is that you already own 100% of yourself and you are stuck with it…”

The sentences in bold were quite striking to me. In our life, we tend to observe other people more clearly than ourselves (“旁观者清”，a Chinese idiom, meaning an outsider can see things more clearly or objectively than those involved) and be more strict to others than to ourselves. We may have mumbled, “I don’t like XYZ of that person” or “I wish he/she could ABC…”. But if we really think about it, we can apply these judgements to ourselves and change ourselves for the better, which is actually more practical and meaningful. As he mentioned, there is nothing stopping us from having the inner qualities we admire and getting rid of those we despise.

External metrics and inner quality

While inner qualities form the foundation, the society often emphasizes more tangible, external metrics as measures of worth. Certain criteria, such as school, the company you are working for, the place you live in, are mainly used to “measure” how valuable you are. This is understandable for efficiency. But if we consider two individuals with similar roles at prestigious companies. While their professional positions are equivalent, their approaches to ethics, teamwork, and personal growth can vastly differ.

In the long term, what matters is the inner quality. Why? For me, the following logic hold true:

Experience shapes worldview and inner quality. For instance, imagine someone who overcame a significant personal challenge, such as public speaking fear. This experience will enhance their self-confidence. Thus, his inner quality now includes a larger component of confidence.
Inner quality drives behaviors. When someone feel more confident about himself, he will try something that is more difficult and adventreous.
Behaviors, over time, leads to results. With more confidence and when someone is more proactive in exploring more opportunities (whether it is job, application, etc.), he is more likely to get more positive results. In addition, if he sticks to some behaviors for a long time, his identity will also be shaped reciporaly.

So, based on the above logic flow (experience–>inner quality<–>behavior–>external metrics or results), external metrics or results are lagging measures, which results from inner quality, the true driving force. Just as mentioned in Atom Habits (a book intended to help people form good habits and break bad habits), the true change is not behavioral change, rather, is “identity change” (e.g., not “I need to clean up today”, it is “I am an organized person”).

Also, as we think about it. The inner quality, just like your skills or ability, can never be taken away. You may mess up one important project, but as long as you possess the quailities that are required (or you are developing them), you will get a fair return eventually.

We may be admired or liked because something we possess (e.g., a nice house, a luxury car), but in the end, everyone wants to be loved because who we are, which is basically, our inner qualities.

“与善良为伴，与智慧同行” (Keep company with kindness and walk with wisdom) – This is the simplifed criteria used to screen potential entrepreneurs mentioned by the guest (李强), a top VC investor in a good podcast. To me, 善良 (kindness) points to good inner qualities, and 智慧 (wisdom) is referring to strong abilities and abundant experience.

Action to take

Learn the inner qualities from the people with the life you want
We all have a dream life that we want to live. And most likely, you will find some role models by reading biographies or attending talks. But everyone’s background is different, instead of learning superficial behaviors they do, the best way to own the life they have, is to learn the inner qualities they possess and apply to your own life critically. Even better, when you learn more about several different role models, some common patterns may start to appear. For example, Elon Musk, Warren Buffett, Charlie Munger all show great passion about knowledge and learning.
Reflect for yourself and list the important qualities
Life is following your commands anyway. So you need to decide what are the imporant qualities for yourself. e.g.,
- Be honest. Admit the truth of myself and reality.
- Embrace competition and truly improve myself.
- Keep the promise.
- Focus on delivering important results efficiently.
- Be proactive in action rather than complaining.
- …
Consiously create the experiences and mind your behaviors to shape your identity
Instead of going auto-pilot on all the activities you have, consiously reflect whether this thing will help contruct or de-construct the quality you want to cultivate within yourself. By adopting the growth mindset, you treat yourself as a product under continuous refinement. For example, if you want to have more “resilience” component in your personality, you can specifically do something out of your comfort zone (e.g., take a bigger challenge and overcome the struggle over a period of time). Over time, you become more comfortable with these experiences, which means you are becoming the person you want to be.